Wednesday's Recap

Weight: 240.8 (WTF? Ham...water retention?)

Breakfast:
Special K with skim milk

Snack:
4 PB cracker sandwiches

Lunch:
Half slice ham, spoon of cheesy potatoes, big helping of veggies from last night

Dinner:
Pretzel roll with ham and cheese, side salad with ranch, one monster cookie

Exercise:
I wish. Instead, I'm going to rot in grad class. Bah.

Thoughts:
I got nothing.

Tuesday's Recap

Weight: 240.0
Body Fat: N/A

Breakfast:
Special K with skim milk

Snack:
6 cheese/cracker sandwiches
trail mix

Lunch:
Red Baron French Bread Pizza (individual size)

Snack:
Take 5 fun size candy bar

Dinner:
Slice ham, 1 serving cheesy potatoes, 2 servings California Blend veggies with cheese, half slice french bread with butter

Dessert:
2 oreos (they're gone now!)

Exercise:
None...at hair appointment until 6:30, made dinner, ate at 7:30 and gave up. Just being honest.

And that's all I have to say about that...

Monday's Recap

Weight: 239.0
Body Fat: 40.0%

Food:
Breakfast-Special K with skim milk
Snack-Three cracker sandwiches with PB, fun size Snickers
Lunch-Spaghetti with meat sauce (homemade), one piece french bread with butter
Snack-Six crackers with colby jack cheese
Dinner-Salad with ranch, BBQ grilled chicken wrap, french fries with ranch

Exercise:
20 minutes elliptical (cardio program)
5 minutes abs
20 minutes treadmill (some weird program that kept changing speed and incline)
5 minute cool-down

Polar Recap:


Positives: I exercised even when I didn't want to. In fact, I had almost talked myself out of it because there was a chance I had to go pick up my brother-in-law from his night class. But when my sister called to say they didn't need me, I knew that was a sign I needed to do what I said I would do.

I'm not going to do negatives because I have enough of that right now....I know there's some there. The words speak for themselves.

But I tried today. I moved. I recorded what I ate.

I can do this.

Here we go!

Why is it that healthy things always begin on Mondays?!? I forgot to do the last minute "oh my gosh, I'm never going to get to eat this again" bulk up yesterday....because I didn't want to.

So, here I am. 239.0 pounds. 40% body fat. Ack. That's disgusting. That means that I have 95.6 pounds of fat on me. Now, I know that I can lose all of it...zero % body fat would not be good. That means I have 143.4 pounds of lean muscle. I'd love to lose at least half of that without losing any lean muscle. In fact, I'd like to gain muscle.

So, you ask, "That's fine, Nicole, but what are you going to do about it?"

Here's my plan:

Eating:
Write down EVERYTHING I eat from nibbles to meals. Document here.

Exercise:
Monday-45-60 minutes of cardio, 5 minutes abs
Tuesday-30-45 minutes weights, 15-30 minutes cardio, 5 minutes abs
Wednesday-Nothing...grad class...but only six more to go!
Thursday-30-45 minutes weights, 15-30 minutes cardio, 5 minutes abs
Friday-45-60 minutes of cardio, 5 minutes abs
Saturday-30-45 minutes weights, 15-30 minutes cardio, 5 minutes abs
Sunday-30-45 minutes cardio, 10 minutes abs

Document all exercise here.

Well-being:
Not sure yet. Not liking my job hasn't helped. Feeling like I'm working with junior high school girls hasn't helped. So, I'm working on positivity in my life. I need it.

So, there you go. Now, here I go.

Holy Flying Time, Batman!

You know how I said I'm ready to go starting Monday after I got back? Umm, yeah, that was two days ago! It's Wednesday already and I can't even tell you where the last 48 hours went! Yikes!

This weekend, I indulged beyond my means. I'm talking pizza, cookies, and beer. Lots of beer. Oh my was it good and oh my was it fun. I haven't drank that much in a LONG time and let me tell you....it took two days for my body to recover. I guess I'm not 21 anymore!!

Monday night consisted of grad school work...ack. I'm so ready to be done with this. Including tonight, I have six, count them SIX grad classes left before graduation. On December 17th, I'm going to proudly walk across that stage knowing I'm done with an intense program!!!!

Last night was the remnants of a conference plus a PTO meeting (also PTA....parent teacher thingy dingy). Supposed to last about 30 minutes and finally my principal said we could leave after over an hour. Yikes.

Time suckers. They're everywhere. For me, it's meetings, conferences, grad class work. What are your time suckers? How do you manage them? I can't seem to get a grasp on them as of late. It's drives me bananas.

I've got to get a grip on this. I miss working out. I can't tell you the last time I did which makes me sad. Two months ago, I was working out 4-6 days a week. Now, most of that progress and muscle has mushed to fat :(

Thankfully, I'm so busy, I'm not snacking as much as normal. I am Nicole. Queen of Maintenance.

Boo.

Get your game face on.

Yep, it's that time. Time to stop dinking around and time to start standing up and doing what you should be doing!

I'm tired of work and grad school running my life. I type this as I'm sitting waiting for my 6:10 PM conference to come during conference night. Last weekend, it was a beautiful weekend with 80 degree temps and sunshine. Did I spend it outside? Well, yes if you count the three hours I used our leaf blower to collect leaves...not fun, but other than that, no. I finished my last part of my thesis, my online portfolio, and finished logging all of my internship hours. I'm so tired of grad school. I'm taking Ed Psych right now and really could give two shits less about it.

Work is just as bad. Conference week (well, two weeks actually) is hell. I spend multiple 12-hour days at school. While I enjoy conferences, I hate the time sucker they are. I don't get home until almost 8:00 PM and by then, I'm pooped.

Here's reality:
-I haven't worked out in two weeks.
-I haven't counted calories.
-I still weigh around 240 (queen of maintaining right here)
-I'm tired
-I miss being home with my hubby
-I'm ready for graduation in December
-I'm ready to have my clothes feel loose

I have grad school tomorrow night and then I'm going to my parent's house for two days to visit my niece in her first grade classroom and visit some old friends. I'm coming back on Saturday for my sister-in-law's baby shower and then a big sigh of relief.

I'm ready to get my game face on. I'm ready to get back into my life. I'm ready to start exercising. I'm ready to start eating even better.

I'm READY!

It started with a fortune cookie...

So last Friday, after work, I went out with a few co-workers to have a few drinks because it had been a long day and I deserved that. So, I had my two beers, some chips and queso, and far too many Irish nachos (french fries with cheese, bacon, onion, and peppers on top...and don't forget the ranch to dip them in.). I told myself no dinner because I had consumed enough calories. We had to go to the grocery store, so I told hubby he could just get Chinese from there. So what do I do? Order my sesame chicken, steamed rice and crab rangoons. I'm only going to much a little because for some insane reason, I felt I was supposed to be hungry.

After eating half of my Chinese, I had to finish off with a fortune cookie. As I broke apart that fried piece of crunchy sweetness, I read my slip. "You are capable of doing anything you set your mind to."

I laughed. Really? No shit. I should write a book about that.

But then I thought about it.

Yeah, I can do anything I set my mind to. And so it started.

I eat what I take and don't get seconds.

I haven't eaten chocolate in two days...not that I'm trying to avoid it.

We haven't eaten out since the Chinese night.

I even exercised on my own once this weekend for a 500 calorie burn.

It's like compromising with a two-year old...I may want it, but do I need it?

We'll see where this goes. I'm kind of excited.

This is my life.

A few bloggers I follow are having similar battles with life and health that I am. Some of them are basically having confession on their blog. And I think it's time for me to do the same.

Here's what I'm struggling with:
Money. They said money can't buy happiness but neither can debt. My husband and I have accrued tens of thousands of dollars in debt in student loans in order for him to complete his Bachelor's Degree and for me to complete my Master's Degree. In fact, we probably will owe more in student loans than we do on our mortgage. In November, we will begin paying on my husband's loans, both government and private. We will probably be paying close to $600 a month just in his loans. He has a part-time elementary PE position but takes home $700 a month. Ick. Thankfully, I have a full-time teaching job in my eighth year and through my master's classes, I have moved up and over on the pay scale. We have enough to get by, but that's it. Paycheck to paycheck. At least until hubby can get a full-time job, but in the world of education, it's hard to tell how soon or easy that will be.

Also with money, or lack of, and living paycheck to paycheck means no chance of a baby any time soon. Now, I'm going to admit. Right now, I'm not ready. I'm so busy with grad school finishing up and life in general that I'm not ready to take that step. In all reality, my husband would rather not have kids. We've compromised on one, but he's not thrilled about it. He's kind of arrogant in that he likes to do his things first and then worry about others. I've accepted that, but it disheartens me that he doesn't share the same desire to have children. It's not a make or break situation for me. But it does still bother me. We've had conversations and arguments about the future of having kids and each time, there's no clear answer. Financially, right now, the answer is no.

I do have the thrill of being an aunt and spending time mostly with my two nephews, one almost two and his little brother who's almost two weeks. I love them to pieces and hubby and I both love spending time with them. My hubby will be a great dad when the child is about 1 1/2 and older. He's not a big fan of the newborns and the crying, although, he did enjoy holding our newest nephew while he was sleeping.

All of this cycles around my weight. This morning, I weighed 239.0. Not my highest (over 260). Not my lowest (214). Right about in the middle. I do not want to get pregnant at this weight. Being that the average woman puts on 20-30 pounds during a pregnancy would put me around my highest weight. That's not safe or healthy for me or for the baby. Ideally, I'd like to be around 170-180 when I get pregnant. Anywho, I think the prospect of us not being able to afford a baby is compromising my motivation to get healthy. I've caught myself thinking that since we won't have a baby anytime soon, why worry about what I'm eating or working out? I hate that I think that.

I hate that my husband is so motivated that he runs three miles every day and lifts weights. I hate that my two teammates at work can eat the same amount as me and probably weigh 60-90 pounds less than I do and both have had kids. I hate that some people my age have kids and I don't. I hate that we can't afford to get a bigger house in a better neighborhood. I hate that I constantly have food (what to eat or not eat) on my mind. I hate that I don't love to work out. I hate that my mom wasn't a better role model for health and fitness for me while growing up. I hate that if I do lose weight, I'll have saggy skin on my arms, back, stomach, and legs. I hate that my husband has to look at my overweight body.

I'm full of hate, but yet if you were to pass me in the street, you would think I'm a happy, go lucky person.

I don't know what I'm looking for from this post. You can advise me to talk to my hubby but we talk about these things ALL the time. I feel like we're beating a dead horse because there's never a consensus. I don't know what direction to go. I don't know what my goals are. There's two. Eat healthy and be active. But right now, I don't know how I want to do that. I like schedules and consistency, but right now, my schedule and life isn't consistent.

Maybe I could be a walk-on to the Biggest Loser.

Hi. I'm Nicole.

Remember me? I'm that one person who set out to accomplish amazing goals.

I'm here. Here's what's been going on.

Nothing that excuses not working out.

Okay, I take that back a little. Grad school is hellaciously busy. My prof thinks he's all that since he just got his PhD and is teaching his first graduate level course. I'm sorry, but take your arrogance elsewhere. Last night, I bullshitted my way through a five page paper on instructional learning theories and how they're effectively used in my school. Really? How is this going to make be a better principal? It's not.

On a bright side, if there is one, I've maintained. My weight this morning was 239.2. Pretty good for not working out in the last week. Eating actually has been okay for me. I need to get back to a schedule. But it seems like school crap pops up. For example, in two weeks, I'll have conferences until 7:30 PM. Ugghhh....

So, I'm here. I'm alive. Now, I need to get moving.

Well...

I'm here. I've been busy. Cut me some slack. No wait. Don't.

I have my weight and body fat, but no measurements. I'm actually happy to report that I was very busy this Labor Day weekend. I got a boost of energy and decided to paint our bathroom. Is it bad that my arms hurt from painting the ceiling? It is an awkward angle though.

I didn't stuff myself, but I wasn't good.

I'm just being.

I did do tae bo myself on Saturday morning and burned over 400 calories in 30 minutes. Don't ask me why I didn't do the full 60 minutes. I don't have a good answer.

My attitude is meh....blah...eh.... I'm in a wedding on Saturday. I'm smiling on the outside, but dying on the inside. Not where I wanted to be for this weekend. Wanted to be below 230. Instead, I'm barely below 240.

What is it going to take for me to get my ass in gear?

August Recap and September Goals

While I want to say August was a waste, I'm not going to. I still kept exercising, albeit fewer times than I wish. Life's going to change in that department. My gym is relocating to another gym and therefor, the class time is changing to a time I cannot do unfortunately. This is a temporary move as they are moving to a brand new gym, but they just started moving dirt around for that, so I don't know how long that will take.

I have three weeks left of Max10 and that makes me sad. I've loved this program and it's got me moving again for the first time in two years. Now, it will be up to me to keep moving. Funny thing is (okay, maybe not funny) I have all of the tools right in our basement. We have a treadmill, elliptical, Hand weights from 3-60 pounds (that latter end would be for my husband) and DVDs ranging from tae bo to Biggest Loser. We even have a hanging punching bag and a smaller kicking bag.

So, in three weeks, it's my turn to do it. It's my turn to use the knowledge I have (which I have a lot...it's applying it that's the problem) and APPLYING it! That goes for nutrition, too. Eating out has become all too common, and it's time for it to start.

I'm rummaging around plans and ideas in my head and I will have them finalized a week before Max10 finishes. I need to have a plan because if I don't, that's not good.

Until then, I do have September goals. I didn't accomplish much in August, so it's time to get back on track.

Goal 1: Lose 5 pounds
Goal 2: Work out at least 4 times per week
Goal 3: Log everything I eat on my blog DAILY whether I like it or not
Goal 4: Take measurements once a week, including body fat
Goal 5: Do something once a week that makes me happy...preferably something that doesn't cost anything

Stay tuned for starting stats...

August Week 3 Results

Short and sweet....

237.8 this week for a loss of 0.2 pounds. Amazing considering the week I've had.

Hoping for consistency this week!

August Week 2 Results

Exercise Goal: Max10 at least 5 days per week I made it 3/5 days this week due to school and other plans. This week will be the same :(


Nutrition Goal: No french fries....not eating out, not at home. None. They have no nutritional value and I feel I have an addiction to them! Did better this week...only once and they were baked at home.

Nutrition Goal: Eat more veggies and fruit Actually did work on this during the week.

Weight Goal: After vacation, I'm starting August at 239.0 so, my goal by September 1st is 230.0. This is going to be a challenge as I head back to work and temptations will be more present, but I'm determined to reach some goals. That means I would be looking at the 220s for September. That would be great. Lost last week's gain plus a pound. Was lower at one point this week, but it crept back up today for the weigh-in!

August Week 1 Results

Exercise Goal: Max10 at least 5 days per week I made it 4/5 days this week due to being out of town one of them.

Exercise Goal: Start C25K program 3x per week Scratch this. With school starting back up and being back to work starting this Thursday, I will not have the extra time for this.

Nutrition Goal: No french fries....not eating out, not at home. None. They have no nutritional value and I feel I have an addiction to them! Big. Fat. FAIL. Not once, not twice, but three times. One at home, and two out. Disappointed in myself here.

Nutrition Goal: Eat more veggies and fruit Actually did work on this during the week.

Weight Goal: After vacation, I'm starting August at 239.0 so, my goal by September 1st is 230.0. This is going to be a challenge as I head back to work and temptations will be more present, but I'm determined to reach some goals. That means I would be looking at the 220s for September. That would be great. Gained 0.8 pounds this week. Not surprised, but not happy. Not going to happen next week.

July Results....August Goals

July Goals and Results:
Exercise Goal: Continue Max10 at least 5 days per week (3 days...on St. Louis vacation other days...did walk quite a bit though there)

Exercise Goal: Do additional 30 min. of workouts 2-3x/week (bike, jog, walk, etc.) (None...too hot still)

Nutrition Goal: Eat out no more than 2x/week (Vacation shot this one down the tubes)

Nutrition Goal: Eat fewer carbs and more veggies and fruit (I'm proud to say that instead of fries with my meals in St. Louis, I ordered side salads! Huge step for me!!!)

Weight Goal: Weigh 235 by July 30th (trip with college friends to St. Louis)...less would be great, but this averages one pound/week. (Beginning weight was 242.0 and I finished at 237.0. Now before you yell at me, I'm actually very proud. You see, the third week, I weighed 238 and only because I had the flu, so when I started eating again, the weight came back, but I worked hard to lose it.)

August Goals:

Exercise Goal: Max10 at least 5 days per week

Exercise Goal: Start C25K program 3x per week

Nutrition Goal: No french fries....not eating out, not at home. None. They have no nutritional value and I feel I have an addiction to them!

Nutrition Goal: Eat more veggies and fruit

Weight Goal: After vacation, I'm starting August at 239.0 so, my goal by September 1st is 230.0. This is going to be a challenge as I head back to work and temptations will be more present, but I'm determined to reach some goals. That means I would be looking at the 220s for September. That would be great.

Here's a pic from vacation in St. Louis:

Week 3 Weigh-In

Exercise Goal: Continue Max10 at least 5 days per week (3 days...hubby's dr. appt. ran over so I missed Thursday, sick Friday and Saturday)

Exercise Goal: Do additional 30 min. of workouts 2-3x/week (bike, jog, walk, etc.) (None...too hot and been sick)

Nutrition Goal: Eat out no more than 2x/week (Ate out quite a bit this week due to heat-didn't want to turn on oven or stand outside and grill...so fail on this one)

Nutrition Goal: Eat fewer carbs and more veggies and fruit (I'm not putting a number on this but this is a serious goal I need to work on) (Ehh...did okay)

Weight Goal: Weigh 235 by July 30th (trip with college friends to St. Louis)...less would be great, but this averages one pound/week. (Beginning weight was 242.0 and this week, I'm at 238.0....loss of 4.0 pounds in three weeks...I attribute this to the stomach flu I got yesterday because I was planning on a gain this week)

Not proud of things this week and also got sick, so hoping this next week goes much better! St. Louis trip on Friday!

Week 2 Weigh-In

Here are my goals from last week and how I did this week:

Exercise Goal: Continue Max10 at least 5 days per week (6 days done, thank you very much!)

Exercise Goal: Do additional 30 min. of workouts 2-3x/week (bike, jog, walk, etc.) (That's a negative this week unless you count climbing up numerous steps yesterday, many times with a tube, at the water park)

Nutrition Goal: Eat out no more than 2x/week (Ate out twice this week...once for anniversary/job celebration and once for lunch at the waterpark....goal met.)

Nutrition Goal: Eat fewer carbs and more veggies and fruit (I'm not putting a number on this but this is a serious goal I need to work on) (Still working on this...this week was not stellar, but not horrible)

Weight Goal: Weigh 235 by July 30th (trip with college friends to St. Louis)...less would be great, but this averages one pound/week. (Beginning weight was 242.0 and this week, I'm at 239.8....loss of 2.2 pounds in two weeks...I've got two weeks to lose 4 pounds...doable, but time to step it up)

Today is a GREAT day!!!!!!

Here's what's happened today:

-I weighed myself this morning and the scale said 239.8

-It's my husband and my 4th wedding anniversary

-My husband was hired as an elementary PE teacher!

Today's a great day, I must say...if I may.....I'm a poet and I didn't know it!!!!

Here's some pics from 4 years ago...it was just as great of a day as today!

That's what I'm talking about!!!

Dang, it feels to be a gangsta....

Or completely back on track. I nailed it today, in all aspects. My diet was on key. My workout was phenomenal (gosh, I love kickboxing). I just feel good. I have energy. I feel healthy.

Now, I need to do and feel this every day.

On a somewhat unrelated note....happy vibes to my hubs and me as we wait to hear the outcome of his teaching interview from last week. Him getting this job would relieve some unneeded stress in our lives!!!

I FEEL GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!

It's What's for Dinner

No, not beef.

Chicken!

I made an incredibly healthy dinner tonight and it was incredibly easy! I made grilled chicken sandwiches with a side of pineapple and strawberries. I simply marinated the boneless, skinless chicken breasts in Italian dressing, grilled them and put them on toasted whole wheat buns! Add some spinach and tomato and it's delish! No mayo for me...that's never been a problem though.

I had to make up for the not so healthy breakfast....the last piece of cheesecake from my birthday. I say I recovered pretty well. Goes to show that just because you make a poor choice first thing, doesn't mean you need to blow the whole day.

Those 230s are going to appear this week. I'm going to make it happen. And my next goal is that their stay is short lived.