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Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Today is a struggle.

I feel like I'm at confession, even though I'm not Catholic. Here it goes....forgive me, health gods, for I have sinned.

-I didn't work out yesterday.
-I got drive-thru McDonald's for of 600 calories....totally not worth it.
-Ate a half of a cake doughnut....again, totally not worth the calories.

I just got done with lunch and I'm already over 1000 calories. Seriously, Nicole? Are you kidding me? I choose to eat crap and then feel bad about it? This is where I need to work on the emotional weight Tara at talks about.

So, why am I doing this? Let's break it down.

1. Didn't exercise yesterday. Due to conferences, I didn't get home until 7:30 PM. I then had to finish my paper due for my grad class that had to be submitted by 11:30 PM. I finished it at 9:00 PM. By then, I was mentally exhausted and just needed down time. I feel this is justifiable.

2. Drive thru McDonalds for breakfast. I was running late this morning and didn't have time to make my normal egg on toast breakfast, so I opted for a Sausage McMuffin with egg and hashbrown. Did you know that mcmuffin is 450 calories and the hashbrown is 150 calories? In hind sight, I would have been better off to go to Subway and get one of their english muffin sandwiches. Plus, I wouldn't feel all greasy gross afterwards either. Lesson learned.

3. Ate half of a cake doughnut. So, my teammate occasionally brings in a doughnut and sets it on my desk in the morning. She does this for all three of us. So, when I arrived after eating my greasy breakfast sandwich, I see this cake doughnut with chocolate frosting sitting on my desk. I proved that I didn't have the strength to just throw it away. So, I took a bite. It was good. I proceeded to eat half of it and literally felt ill. So, I pitched it. I'm proud of myself that I was able to do that, but I should have eaten a single bite to start with.

Worst part is that even though I've done all of these things, due to my night class tonight, workouts aren't an option. Awesome. I'm sure the pounds will creep on. I know one thing more McDonald's breakfast. It wasn't worth the 600 calories. I would have been better off with a quick piece of toast at home.

No one said this would be easy, but I'm using this blog as a tool for me to work through this stuff both physically, mentally, and emotionally.


  1. You will get there. Consider asking your co-worker to not bring in donuts for you anymore, or to possibly bring in a healthier option. Tell her you appreciate the gesture, but that you're working on becoming more healthy. She should appreciate that.

    On those days when you know you just can't get a workout in, you've just got to be EXTRA organized and prepared. Not trying to bust your balls here, but you know when you are going to have conferences, right? So, you should be able to prepare foods ahead of time and control at least that portion of the equation.

    It's all about YOU remaining in control of the situation and not letting the situation control you. Empower yourself, girl. Say that *you're* going to be the one who determines what you eat each day, not your schedule.

    Plan ahead! It will save you a TON of guilt later.

    As always, (HUGS!)

  2. Have I told you lately how much I love you???

    I am my own boss. You're 500% right.

    I'm good enough. I'm smart enough and gosh darn it, people like me.

    In all seriousness, I teach my students on a daily basis to do their personal best. Why am I not practicing what I preach?